Ten years ago I married a 22 year old guy named Tim. I thought I knew who I was and what I was doing, like most 19 year olds do. I knew he was "the one". The wedding was the most beautiful day. I didn't want it to end. We went on a cruise to Mexico for our honeymoon and then moved into student housing to begin our life together. I remember the first year being so difficult for me to adjust. It pretty much consisted of me freaking out and Tim staring at me like I had crap on my face, and trying to be really sweet about it. Its so interesting to look back at the girl I used to be and the woman I have become. I can't quite pin down one thing that has changed me for the better, but I can pin down the person that was there for me while I was changing for the better.
When I first met Tim I thought he was super confident, maybe a little too confident. He didn't take himself too seriously or anyone else for that matter. What really got me was when he said while driving me home was, "You're really pretty." For the first time I believed it. This was after a night of ice skating, homemade pizza and I may have fallen asleep on his arm while watching The Princess Bride. To this day he does not let me live that one down. I remember feeling safe around him. He was my fresh breath of air. Throughout our marriage he has been my rock.
When my brother died he tried to make me laugh by making a joke and followed it up with "too soon?" He was my listening ear and shoulder to cry on for months to follow. He never made me feel crazy when I really was acting crazy. He just let me be me. One particular bad night I had while we were doing fertility treatments, I was crying in the bathroom. U2 Stuck in a Moment was playing the soundtrack in the background. Tim said with tears in his eyes, "I'm sorry you're hurting." And just like that I felt like I could handle it.
We did get pregant and wouldn't you know our little daughter is the spitting image of her daddy. Some days I feel out numbered. What a lucky little girl she is to have him for a daddy. Tim insisted we take her to the U2 concert in Anaheim when she was 4 years old. Every Sunday they would watch U2 concerts to prepare. She fell asleep half way through the concert but Tim was so proud to have her there. They are two pees in a pod.
My marriage has not been perfect. Around itchy year 7 it became make or break us time. It was the time when I realized the things I've been trying to change about him are never going to change and I needed to make some serious decisions. I'm sure he was pretty done with me too. This is what I decided: He challenges me. He works with me. He takes care of me. He has all the core things that I need in a partner. I felt like it was a test up until that point. Always asking myself if this was going to work. I finally made the choice to make this work. I wanted him to be my partner. I wanted him to share my life with. It's taken some time to heal the wounds we gave each other that year, but they have healed. We now are about to celebrate our ten year anniversary. I can honestly say I love this man more than the day I married him. I have a deeper love and friendship than I thought was ever possible. He supports me and encourages me. He takes over when I'm over it. He's been everything I've ever needed him to be. I'm looking forward to the next 10. I have a feeling we're just getting to the good stuff. :)
Happy Anniversary! I love you!
15 years ago
